Current Obsession

http://thisoldcrackhouse.blogspot.com/

My Guys

The plant ones, that is. :)

Video

I Officially Hate Dan Brown. And Maybe Opie and Tom Hanks Too.

THIS is a sculpture. A SCULPTURE. Made out of stone. A few hundred years ago.

Bernini's "David" is a fantastic example of Hellenistic art - full of movement and emotion, deeply carved. In my opinion, better than Michelangelo's version.

"Apollo and Daphne". She's turning into a tree to escape him.


Like, seriously. A sculpture made out of stone. Look how perfect this face is. But no, Bernini is now Dan Brown's monkey-boy, reduced to a shadow figure Illuminati mastermind. Why not make Rubens into the first Scientologist, you manky bastard? He's ruined Hadrian's Tomb and the Four Rivers fountain.

Holy Mercy

Yesterday and now again this morning, I have a pain in my gut. It was happening like last Wednesday or Thursday too, and I have no idea what it is. If it keeps happening, I will have to go to the doc. But I don't really expect any answers other than the usual - IBS. It feels like when you have a stitch in your side, only it's right under my rib cage on the right side. My guts! They pain me!

My froat hurts too, but I'm pretty sure that's just allergies. I bin takin' my allegra, but we put the AC unit in the bedroom this weekend and I think that's been causin' me problems.

This weekend was also a Top Gear marathon, which means we fell in love with ten different cars. The GTR I now want costs as much as our house.

And watching this made us both want to go to Botswana. I already wanted to go, but this intensified my desire.


And we learned about the honey badger, who is apparently ridiculously badass. Watch this:


And I would like to stay here:


But I would also be happy to stay here. I know it's not super-brave to stay at a camp, but seriously!

Thanks!

Here are some folks out havin' fun while they're workin' for us. Some swearing and other adult content.

Sunshine Cupcakes Puppies Rainbows

These are some pictures that made me happy. The rose smells surprisingly fruity - I thought a climber would smell more like a hybrid tea rose. And the foxglove just reminds me that any plant that's speckled like this is Nature's way of saying, "NO!" and tapping you on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

There's also something really fucked up and depressing that I saw when I took these pictures, but I'm not going to post it here. E-mail me if you want to see the creepy, sad side of Nature.

Suddenly

For no reason, I am all smiles.

I laugh at the relief in the dentist's voice when I find the correct number for preapproval on my insurance card.

I chuckle at the funny e-mails from the building receptionist.

I smile at the warm-fuzzies from my boss.

I bark at the interview that Jon does with Chuck.

It is a beautiful day, and I am happy.

Yes, Please

Since the best way to enjoy things I can't buy is by looking at them...

The Oak Park shower door by Sterling (Kohler).

OHmigosh does this look like it would be fun to use.

I want to try painting on linen next.


Grey oil crayon.


Which I would combine with this indigo oil crayon to make artz for the kitchen.

I'm gonna need a bright green on the current painting of the tulips, and since I'm out of yellow...

Was it the broaster he wanted? Did you know that they have Le Creuset at Marshall's/TJ Maxx/HomeGoods?!?! So exciting, or would be if we could find an acceptable color.

Or is it the French Oven that he wants???


LOOK how great this will look. The honey saw it this weekend, and approves on contingency. Mmmm, ridiculously-differently-themed bedroom furniture....


Coach Madison Sabrina spectator. Yummy.


Coach large Zoe. Double yummy.

Meeting The Baby

So, the kid likes Aunt Jen. Even though he burped in my face. He will be one month old next week.

I hung out with A. and the baby while the honey helped E. with a destruction project. Then the guys came back and we ordered pizza and watched Seven Pounds. It was pretty good.

What was really nice, though, was hanging out with friends and enjoying the nice evening. It was cool to see the honey and E. thinking alike on things - I always think it's neat when you can tell where someone came from. And I found out that A. and I have another thing in common - we don't like batting cages! I don't like it because I feel like I can't say, "Hang on!" The machine just keeps on coming. So it was nice to find someone who feels the same way.

The baby is really ridiculously cute. His pinky nail is like the size of FDR's chin on a dime. His favorite way to sleep is in a "taco" made from a pillow. He dreams. About what, I don't know. And he is very chill, which is not surprising considering his parents.

When we got home, we had a happy puppy waiting for us and THE BAG! was already on the porch. THE BAG! tells about all the shopping bargains to be had, which is very important knowledge even if you're not buying anything. How else will you know where the gazelles get their water?

Life is good.

Screen Bitch

I created this posterized version of my wild rose pic the other day, and it looked so cool that I wanted it made into a t-shirt. But since it's thirty colors, I would never be patient enough to make a screen. So I realized: I could make my own clothing line if I had a Screen Bitch! And it would also help if this person were a whiz with a sewing machine. Ahhh, dreams....

[Smile] [Blush]

A new client just expressed honest disbelief that I will be 30 in a month and a half. Welcome, Jennifer, to a world where it's GOOD that people don't think you look as old as you are! Ali and Lindz are jealous.

Yeah Baby!

This comment on a Jezebel Snap Judgment rocks my world:

Mar Charbel
9:39 PM on Thu May 14 2009
@challygirl: The money wasn't given directly to the people, instead to corrupt politicians and charity higher-ups. I don't care what Illinois says, Louisiana is truly the most BITCH BOGUS state when it comes to governmental accountability. Plus there really isn't a great job market unless you have a petroleum engineering background because tourists aren't coming in, but seriously guys PLEASE VISIT NEW ORLEANS AND THE REST OF THE GULF COAST AND GO SHOPPING AND EAT OUT AND HAVE FUN OK THANK YOU XOXOXO!!!!!!!

Two things.

A, I am going to start using "BITCH BOGUS" as a new favorite swear word descriptor. and
B, This reinforces my desire to visit NOLA. I am dying to stay at Oak Alley Plantation and sleep in a TempurPedic bed to try it out. It's going to be a VERY long time before we have the money to do that, but I've never been to Louisiana!

No. Just...No.

I realize the pic's not that big, but are you kidding me?!?!?!?! There is NO freaking way.

How Many Times / Have You Heard Someone Say

I have decided that Budd is my favorite DiVA.

Look, people, I don't know why I love Kill Bill, I just do. I don't really like any of Tarantino's other movies, in the way that I don't really like having teeth pulled. They all just kinda annoy me. And also: I wanna see the soul!!!!!!!

But I just like Budd. I like his sanguine nature. I don't like his condescending sexism, but whaddaya gonna do?

I have been thinking a lot of heavy thoughts today. I bounced some stuff off of E, and it made me feel MUCH better. I can tell I've been overthinking, though, and it's so hard to stop. I think sometimes that my mind is like a belt system on a machine that doesn't do anything. It whips at high speed and keeps going over the same ground over and over, but it doesn't gain any traction.

Well, it's supposed to be nice this weekend, and the German that I live with has pressed me into joining him in finishing all the chores so we can relax. So we should get to have a fun weekend again. I really am very lucky to have wonderful friends, family, and love, and I don't think one gets more lucky than having less back pain after breaking a vertebra. Sure, I'm afraid of stairs and cement now, but, again, whaddaya gonna do?

Now, if I could just get rid of the Kafka dreams.................

All The Poo That's Fit to Print

Get ready for the random, 'cause here it comes.

It cracks me up that my dreams are so eminently readable upon waking. I dreamt last night that my parents and I were living at our house in Cedar Rapids, and Courtney Corinne and Katie were living next door. Steve was having a fence fight with the neighbors on the other side, and I had gone rogue and planted a bunch of stuff in Steve's gardens. Roses were growing all along the property line to Courtney's, along with tomatoes. Tulips were randomly planted in the yard, and strawberries were cheek-by-jowl with a plant that had papaya AND kiwi growing on it! I'm pretty sure that in the real world, papaya and kiwi don't grow in Zone 4 Iowa in mid-May, but in my dreams the garden blooms all the time. Courtney and I had a random tomato fight, and the dream ended with me and my mom dragging the hose out of the garage so I could clean up the mess on the side of the house.

My hair is getting long again, and when I flip it out of the towel it almost looks like a mullet.

I'm so sad that I don't get to go home in July! I tried to work it every which way, and it just is not going to work. Which sux even worse!

I just made myself so sad with that thought that I had to chase it away with thoughts of my crazy yellow iris out there in the yard. And even that took a sec.

My right wrist hurts today. Since the weather is so changeable even within the same hour, my hurting joints don't predict anything reliably. Sometimes my left (sprained) wrist hurts, and sometimes my right (broken) wrist hurts. I tried to figure out the pattern, but there just doesn't seem to be one.

My computer just beeped at me for no discernible reason.

This is why I love my honey: The other day Radar was chewing his foot, and I calmly threatened to spank him. And the man pipes up in his best Queen Mum voice, "Mummy will smack!"

I am amazed that the foxgloves are growing the fastest. I put them with the lupine and delphinium to try my spire garden idea, but I was worried that it would be too much sun for them. But they seem pleased.

That new Aveeno shampoo looks pretty good. And their shave-less-often lotion and shave gel work so well that they'll make you forget the last time you shaved.

Okay, my stomach is growling like a mad bastard, so I am closing it down to get me bagel.

IMAGINE how this would look with our cream bedspread. SO amazing. Since I am much more on the transitional/traditional side, it's pretty unbelievable how I've fallen in love with this bed.

Things That Make Me Happy

Since I'm fittin' to freak out about my horrible nightmare and the fact that I am feeling frustrated that lately I am having to do the job of the insurance company, hospital, credit card company, debt management company, book club, mortgage company, bank, gas company....

Opinions

(A),

(B),

(C),

or (D)?

Word, Bishes

That's what my new profile pic says.

Then my fluffy, floppy, puppy side has to go and ruin it by thinking about this:

My thinky side also ruins it by thinking I liked the prescription-able ones I saw at Pearle better, and wishing I could've gotten rid of that double chin in post. (I now officially have a double chin.) But whatever.

I don't think I'm going to be able to go home in July. Read this as mega-double-ultra sad. :( :( :( :( :( :(

I am wearing one of my dollar-jackets today, and it makes me happy.

Okay, I have to stop writing now, 'cause I'm a little down in the dumps and I just keep thinking about it. Wait for a sunny day!

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Live baby owl webcam. This website not responsible for any weird/gross animal things you see if you click through.

Mmmm....Netbooooks.....

Birthday from Barbara

Here are some of the plants that Barbara gave me last year. They are thrilled! The other ones are growing, but I will take more pictures once they really gear up for the summer.

The Joy of Planties

Taking over already, just planted them last summer! This lavender is creeping itself out, and that is perfectly all right with me.

My cool-ass sunglasses.

Little pot with flower frog. I thought this was a cute idea to cover up the frog.

My one little lily of the valley. Smells so pretty!